MuSiC oF mY LiFe

~~Monday, June 30, 2008~~

1 word to describe the latest mood of myself - lazy.

I am lazy to do lots of things. Lazy to move, lazy to walk, lazy to meet, lazy to talk, lazy to shop, lazy to watch, lazy to initiate, lazy to wake, and 100o things more associated to that "L" word. OK, maybe the garfield comics I was into "motivated" me to be the lazy lump I am now. Thus, 老天 decided to work its power on me. I was given unwanted but tasks of no choice to complete. Haha.

Had to do my course registration for next semester last wk and i was forced to move my a** back to hostel n do cos my internet connection at home sucked. So, i did. And...i was forced to look thru a whole list of what i call silly electives cos' some modules i wanted didn't appear in my catalogue. Therefore, I had to look thru' for hours. My registration was 9.30am on a day till 12.30pm. I logged in at 9.31am and with the prepared set of modules for my own planned timetable, i was horrified! Walla! All vacancies showed "O" Big fat zeros only after a min from start of registration. Tadah! Even my CORE modules were gone. =.=

In the end, I spent a full 2hrs to look for REMAINING modules and waited for samaritans to give me pathetic space for my core modules and I just squeezed into the classes with 1 or 2 spacings left. Pfft. haha.

The horrible day came where i had to extract my 2 wisdom teeth, right top and bottom. Half of my face was paralyzed and numbed and I suddenly felt a tinge of sourness when I finally realised how stroke patients feel for the 1st time. I gargled my mouth and the water just spurt out relentlessly cos I cant control the muscles. The sound of the drilling and all were horrible but I tried looking calm and composed thru out. Finally the stitching were done and I was out with a swollen jaw.

It was liquid food for the 1st two days but I guess I was an adventurous person. I started eating rice..beehoon and whatever my mum cooked or bought without hesitating. My main idea was that as long as i shaft the food to the left side it will be fine. Which finally lead me to my doomsday...yesterday, I finally attacked a chicken wing and prata and it backstabbed me by poking my stitch that I howled in pain and tt was it. No more real biting for the day. I went on to eat soup spoon for dinner as well, when i went out later in the evening. OUCH. removing my stitches on thur and its gonna be another day of howling. >.<

Went for Jess bday too. It was fun meeting old sch mates again. Everyone had there lives moving on well and its nice to see the baldies toned up (uh..some of 'em) after the months of ns-hood. haha.

Met up frazzy for movie and lunch too~ its like..FINALLY. too bad the rest of the BG cant go but yup. Watched the movie "wanted" as well. Wow...its really good. Its more of a guy show with cool stunts + sleek cars + totally cool moves. The sound effect is wonderful too. I dun usually fancy such shows but thumbs up for this production man. =)

OK, gg to chinatown to pay for the tioman trip soon~ Yay! NExt wk next wk..i cant wait.

4:16 PM

~~Sunday, June 22, 2008~~

its e real start of my holidays from now till sch reopens on 4th Aug. haven been up here becos i did most stuffs w/o the use of my lappy nowadays. Getting away from lappy is a good sign. Recent weekends have been spent on baking sessions with sis. Made quite a lump sum of desserts. haha. Made blueberry cheesecake...strawberry shortcake..cookies..brownies..haha. Making is the joy and after tt, i dun really eat it. LOl..pass it all ard my relatives and sis. LOl.

Oh, astro exam was over too. Didn't put in much effort but wad can i say when I still have to pick a pen and study during hols! haha..school is supposed to be out manz. haha..dunno when results are out. And immediately after astro i worked straight at IT fair selling harddisks under harvey. lol..Hectic 4days cos of the crowd and i even lose my voice, till now. lol.

Bought a camera too. Canon ixus 850IS..yay. finally a camera to me and my dad. lol... I must take more pics from now on. yay. Oh..managed to meet some pals up for dinner and all too. yay..holidays are good to meet up frens for updates and chillin sessions! But..i m jobless, poor and slacking my ass off. I m a born workaholic I think. I cant rest for long. lol.

I cant wait for tioman trip. lol...went for 1st short trip to JB yest. nice. Cant wait for tioman..and if lucky...***** trip..hehehe...hope i can go for at least a trip a year with frens..it will be so nice. we start small..and slowly we will expand to other countries k..lol..

daydreaming again. holiday can certainly hallucinate pple huh? haha...

9:07 PM

~~Thursday, June 05, 2008~~

i m really really really really really, speechless.

today is the release of results for last sem. I heard it from a fren in lect today. I wasn't worked up but defeated internally alr. I was very prepared, for those who understands, really knew how bad it was for me to let high aims go, to steep to such struggling level and now to be ready to retake 2 subjects.

i avoided the tot of checking it at 12am. I went for a short jog, and it was a good thing tt i went out for dinner and have frens for companion all the way till 1+am. But when i returned back to hostel and saw the laptop, i decided to face it all. I tried loading like so many times but the net just go nuts. Thru' out the whole time, i was calm. I was awaiting to see the "U" sign for unsatisfactory just to confirm my predictions altho i hoped for a miracle.

Just when i decided for e last time, my results flashed right at my eyes and i cant digest it. Freaking 6 subjects. I passed it all. Not glamourous at all. But a miracle occurred, i m v v v sure. I thank e lord for it. really. Out of the 6 modules, i only had confidence in 3. The other 3, i failed it all be4 the finals.

My biochem, i failed it and i told my lecturer he wun see me again and i was determined so i was glad it worked out the way i hoped it would. BUT...i nv would have tot. Read my previous exam entries if u want. My maths. I need a freaking 70m just to pass, and i knew i lost more than 20+ cos i didn't finish..My physics...i only did 1 pathetic qn in my paper..1 pathetic 20+ mark qn in my paper...i noe i dun deserve them..but wherever the power came from, it made me pass...My jaw literally dropped. Not becos like how i tot it would be. I tot my jaw would drop cos i failed..but my jaw dropped cos i passed. Ironic? I dun think so, anymore.

Altho my GPA has dropped tremendously..may not even get my honors with such results..but..I m really speechless to see that i passed it all. I duno wad to say. I noe i was an asshole last sem..I made a promise to god, if i m really granted the chance to pass all my modules this sem, i will try my v best next sem..cos i noe wad is hell like here. Its beyond words. Its freaking incredibly horrendous. I will do my v v v v v best. Even if i may nt get to aim as high, i will put in the effort.

Many would have just shake their heads and say sth like, "see i told u alr. u sure can pass de. Ur calibre so high..i dun believe u will fail." But come on...really get to noe wad i m going thru and how i m really feeling and u will noe how pissed i can get if i hear such comments from some pple sometimes. Thanks for thinking i m so capable. Maybe i was, once such a high-flyer, but i m now just a small shrimp for all tt i noe. ha.

i m still in a utter state of shock. U gave this to me, thank u...I will try my best. I will try to fulfil my promise.

U made me believe u exist.

2:03 AM

~~Tuesday, June 03, 2008~~

Sometimes its nv good life being the govt cos no matter what decision u make, u r bound to be bombarded with good and bad comments. For once here, i wish to thank the govt. The govt for implementing sth called, Medisave. I went for my dental appt on sat. Initial idea was to extract a wisdom tooth that was aching and causing my migraine.

Reached there and saw the doctor and he said gently that nt everyone has to extract all 4 wisdom tooth and boy was i relieved. I did my X-rays and less than 10min later, he said, "i think, u have to go with all 4." i yelped once and he laughed and asked if he scared me with his words. And i said, "yeah! u terrified me with the cost i have to pay! darn it."

he examined the X-ray and revealed tt, ok, my top 2 wisdom can be done by normal extraction ($120/each) and the bottom 2 (angled at 45degrees inwards to the adjacent teeth) has to be done by surgery($600/each). WHATTT! Nt considering medicine, MC and wadever misc..GST..its alr..$1420!!! Its killer! I hate the idea of plucking sth out of me and i still have to pay pple for doing tt. Lol.

Tada! Medisave came into picture! My bottom 2 teeth tt requires surgery can be covered by my medisave and it really SAVED me like..1k? Lucky dung, thank the gods man. Nevertheless...the surgery sounds sucky. Wad cutting and flipping of gums..and breaking up of my tooth then taking it out by its fragments..scary. Nvm..we shall see. Appt. on 26/6.

Coming back to the point, what's the morale of this simple story? Be urself and do what u think its rite. There are always 2 sides of things. No matter wad u do, pple always have sth to say. So, as long as u do sth with a clear conscience and u nv let urself down. What's more to care? Heck the world and be urself. love urself. Pple will get it, someday..somehow.

Another side track was how i have a weird family. Lol. I was home for my wkend and i decided to make some..dessert tt my sis likes since she mentioned be4. So..i decided to make brownies/muffins. Then my mum came and roar at me and say no cos i will mess up the kitchen. We like bickered in a car trip for like more than an hour and it went on for like till the next day. I was like..come on lar..ur kitchen is supposed to be utilised and me making sth is what counts. She insisted tt i m wasting money and demanded tt if i really made sth, i must make the no frill cheesecake tt i made awhile ago tt requires no baking or wadsoever. Then i refused and she shouted tt i shld make cos she likes it alot. I noe it was really becos i din have to bake it and it will be less mess as she presumed.

I just went to buy the materials on my own and just went on to bake the muffins and make my caramel pudding. She grumbled and nagged all the way till and i was like tuning on my brain's sheena's fm. Till i finished everything in less than 2 hours plus clean-up then she stopped and i off-ed my brain's stereo. I went rest in my room and only a short while from then, i saw my whole family enjoying the muffins and the caramel pudding i made, happily. I was happy they liked it cos i made it for them since i dun really fancy the gorging of the food but really wanted them to enjoy wad i wanted to make for them. But..my mum changed too fast le bahz. haha..

My sis took a bucketful of muffins back and everyday my parents will eat the muffins and pudding till it was gone. it feels good tt they liked it, but somehow..y the fight in the 1st place rite? haha..Ending note, mum told me just now before i came back to hostel. "make the cheesecake and another type of pudding next wk alrite?"

"ORgh. As long as u pay." I replied and smiled.

"I was blue I know. I was red I know. We can set the rainbow back, we know."

1:13 AM